Life, The Universe, And Everything

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Sometimes living is overwhelming. Simply existing is all we can do and it still drains our energy away. We feel stuck. Like we don’t belong and everything is wrong and what the hell are we doing here…
People come and go and we ask ourselves how can they do that? How can they live, smile and emanate this bright light as if darkness and self doubt never touched them. As if their life was filled with so much happiness and we wonder how can they be happy in a world like this… We compare.
Sometimes we can’t understand that there’s no easy way out, even to that person we think has got it easier. We don’t understand that we’re doing exactly what we hate when people do it to us: we’re judging them.
And you know, I don’t claim to understand life, the universe and everything in between. I’m so small. My soul is still so young. I’ve got so many lifetimes to live. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, one rule, one major truth, this one thing that is supposed to make it all worthwhile: we just need to love.

© Máh Lima

Smile and let go

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How long will you hide inside the pain? If you don’t let go in time it will feel like that’s a part of you, when it’s not… it’s just something that happened to you. Don’t let it define you. Don’t let it make you small. Don’t embody your pain and start living it as your solely truth. You are so much more than the bad things that have happened to you. Cry if you have to. But let it go. Open up. The more you close in, the more it pierces through your skin and bleeds into your blood flow. Stop the process by smiling and being grateful for the lesson. Let it go.
© Máh Lima

Travel

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They say “go to a place you’ve never been before at least once a year”. I have. In 2016 I went inside myself. I haven’t ever been there. Not in this new configuration. Not with this mindset.

I have slowly and fearfully entered a territory that should have been known by me like the back of my hand. Like I know my house even when the lights are out. But I didn’t. I didn’t know the way or the main attractions or the shortcuts.

Since then I have gotten lost and frustrated. Many times. There’s no point in lying to you about this, it isn’t as easy as it seems. This “love yourself” thing is, in fact, harder than anything else I’ve ever tried. And I have tried a few things.

But honestly, there ain’t anything more worth it than this, either. It’s a bit of an adventure and every time I hit a wall I have to ask myself “why did I build this?” and “how do I go around it or tear it down?”.

I had to look at the ugly, but that’s the usual, we always tend to focus on that. What was really amazing was to look at the beauty. To see the good in me. To know I am full of good too. And to feel it, not just mentally know it but actually feel the good energy reverberating from inside.

It’s not a constant state of mind. I don’t think, in this life, it will ever be. But it’s a bit like meditation, I guess. First you try it for a few seconds. Then one minute. Then every single minute you can stay in that state is a plus.

And all I’m striving for is to reach the furthest I can from where I was yesterday. One day at a time.
© Máh Lima

Foreign love

Photo by Zara Walker @Unsplash

I’m not looking for love anymore. I’ve grew tired throughout the years. And being very honest, I’ve lost a little of that shine in the eye and belief in the magic. There’s no sincere prince and the charmings are cute but untrustworthy.

I’m not looking for love anymore. I’m tired of the outside pressure that keeps repeating you’re not someone unless you’ve got someone. And being very honest with you, I’m tired of my own expectations.

I’m not looking for love anymore. That picture perfect relationship that will try to complete me and promise me happiness. “The one”. And being very honest with you, I don’t think that’s ever going to be possible.

Because I am not looking for love anymore. That love that comes from anywhere but within. From now on I’ll be the one to love me. And being very honest with you, that has been the best decision I’ve made this year.
© Máh Lima

I Remember

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Amazing shot by @dawson.proc

I remember walking endlessly. The waves crashing at my feet. Just like my tears damped my cheeks. I remember walking endlessly.

I remember crying a lifetime. As the sun set behind me. As I walked away from everything. Metaphorically and in reality. I remember crying a lifetime.

I remember the sudden numbness. My tired feet. My tired heart. My aching eyes. The complete nothing and the sudden stop. I remember the sudden numbness.

I remember begging for help. And the moon, my only companion, shining faintly, helping me to find my way. I remember begging for help.

I remember. Even though I wish I could forget. I remember feeling lost. I remember feeling hopeless. I remember feeling useless. I remember.

And I don’t remember how they found me. And I don’t remember how I got home. And even though I wish I could forget everything else. I remember.

I remember, on that fatidical day, I finally found my will to carry on.
© Máh Lima

And I need you to understand

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Photo by @bryanadamc

You’re a complete person on your own
You don’t need someone to make you happy
No one is going to fill that void inside you
If anything, they’ll make it bigger.
And I need you to understand this
So you can understand the way I love you
Not like you’re the air I breathe
I wouldn’t die if you were to leave.
I love you like I love me
With the freedom of letting you simply be
Accepting you as you are, the same way I accept me
Hoping we can make it work despite our idiosyncrasies.
© Máh Lima


Tender is the Night

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Let’s take it slow. I know you want this and I do too. But maybe we still need time. You know I’ve been hurt and you’ve been too. And it’s best we make sure we’re not just licking each other’s wounds.

Let’s keep control. Sometimes all we want is to let loose, but let’s not. At least not all at once. If we play this right it may last a lifetime. And I’d hate to lose you because I couldn’t hold myself in check.

Let’s get to know one another like we know the back of our hands. Let’s learn our boundaries. What sets us off. And with confidence, let’s overcome each and every hurdle we meet along the way.

Let’s become the first person that comes to mind when whatever happens. The last person we think about before we go sleep. And the person we dream about in the in between.

Let’s take our time. We don’t have to do like A or B. We don’t have to be what they expect us to be. Let’s find our own way of being us. We don’t have to rush, there’s always time. When we make time to be just you and I.
© Máh Lima


Confessin’

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And I need you to understand I’m keeping a foot out the door because I’m scared, it’s true. But I want you. I want to be with you. I want to know you and let you know me. I want to be your first thought in the morning and the last of the day. And who you dream about in between. But I don’t need it to happen now or tomorrow or after tomorrow. I want us to take our time. I believe in building the relationship. And I want to build this with you. I want to choose you. But I don’t know if you want to be chosen.
©Máh Lima


“I’m confessin’ that I love you
Tell me do you love me too?
I’m confessin’ that I need you
Honest I do, I need you every moment
In your eyes I read such strange things
But your lips deny they are true
Will your answer really change things?
Making me blue…”
//Lizz Wright

Unnoticed

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Two lives intertwined
Living at war
Two hearts beating in unison
Looking for peace
Shooting each other down
But tightly chained.
If only for a moment
They would stop and notice
One can’t stand if the other is down
Their wants and wishes were the same
If only for a moment they noticed the chain…

Two lives interwined in love
Two hearts beating in sync
If only for a moment hope was not lost
Two souls could find peace.
©Máh Lima